The Moderator

The following applies to everyone: in order to be able to live, we have to fulfill different and even contradictory conditions.

• We seek belonging in a circle of fellow human beings: We cannot and do not want to live alone.

• But we also need a certain distance so that we can be sensed as individuals and find recognition.

• We need reliability and safety: We need to sense danger in time and react.

• But we want enforcement in order to take care of ourselves, go on adventures and develop our abilities.

• We want to feel comfortable and use empathy to warmly empathize with our neighbors.

• But we must not overlook the reality and consequences of our behavior. Rationality is also important.

We can perceive these six opposing forces in our dreams and fantasies as designers or personality traits. C.G. Jung spoke of archetypes, which have been sensed by people across cultures at all times. For example, there is the type that is responsible for communication, in Greek mythology it is the messenger of the gods Hermes, in Norse myths it is Loki and the Romans knew Mercury, the bearer of news. This deity is responsible for the communicative side. Our need for belonging is vital because we would not survive on our own. For enforcement, we know Thor, Mars or, among the Greeks, Ares, who, as gods of war, are sometimes quick-tempered and fight for our interests. Without sufficient care for ourselves, we would soon perish.

It is understandable that people used to believe that it was external beings that we were sensing within ourselves. If the same types are seen across cultures and across time, by very different people, then these types must exist outside of our own heads, right? If so many friends of ours are sensing a god, and many different gods at that, then we talk and share our fantasies, fears and hopes about them. Maybe we sense the power of these guys and develop ideas together about what we should do to make these powers feel good so they don’t harm us. Today we know more about the brain, its many areas and a lot about which powers are active in which places. In our dreams and fantasies, these functional areas are ’translated’ into living designers with whom we ourselves can communicate.

We can imagine how these personified basic needs come together in an old knight’s hall, as the band around King Arthur once did. In a personality of the ‘moderator’ type, empathy, sometimes understood as the radiant Venus, takes the ‘chair’ at the head of the table.

Next to it is belonging, because our empathy likes close contact with friends. Opposite it is recognition, which strives to be sensed and appreciated as a human being. The opposites of enforcement and safety also sit opposite each other. We will always experience situations in which it is important to act and, if necessary, to argue. Safety remains vigilant so that things don’t degenerate and become dangerous. At the other end of the table, rationality finds its place. As soon as empathy feels that someone is not doing well, the question goes to rationality: what should we do?

The moderator’s task is to responsibly align this inner team and find a self-image (identity) that integrates all ‘gods’.

We need a mental construct that powers us to feel good all around and ask ourselves what it means when we say: ‘I am a moderator’? Empathizing and making sure that we and our fellow human beings are well can be lived well, responsibly and also meaningfully in different ways these days. There are moderators who enjoy standing in front of an audience, hosting TV shows, taking care of their fellow human beings as a therapist or as a pastor, or working for others in a kindergarten, in schools and organizations, or even those who work in a company as a coach or as a customer service representative.

Such tasks are motivating in the sense of all basic needs if our different sides can support each other and contribute to the common work. Each of these members of the inner team brings special experience and skills that can benefit everyone.

• Empathy (color: white) examines the effects of our behavior. It wants to act responsibly and seeks belonging and recognition for reflection and supporter.

• Belonging (yellow) ensures common ground through coordination. It takes care of communication.

• Recognition (blue) strives for the best, compares and evaluates alternatives. It makes suggestions for action.

• Enforcement (red) checks which of the proposals can be implemented and how, and takes action.

• Safety (green) is an attentive observer. It recognizes risks and ensures order and reliability.

• Rationality (black) analyzes the ongoing change processes and provides the inner team with the necessary orientation to ensure that meaningful action is taken.

It’s nice when inner cooperation takes place in this peaceful and complementary way. With most people, howev…