The Integrator

We consciously say: ‘I want to’. This thought or feeling was previously ‘worked out’ by the unconscious. It makes independent decisions in every situation. We are not aware of most of them. We go to the right, sit down, say whatever comes to mind.

To be able to decide, we need alternatives. Do I stay at home because it’s cozy, or do I go to work because I’ll meet my colleagues there? Different areas of the brain are involved in these decisions. The safety area prefers to stay at home. The area responsible for belonging wants us to meet up with our colleagues. Whichever of these two has the greatest need forces its way through.

In our dreams, fantasies or thoughts, we can sensing these opposing forces as persons or personality parts. C.G. Jung described them as archetypes, which have been sensed in this way by people across cultures at all times. For example, the type responsible for communication in Greek mythology is Hermes, the messenger of the gods, in Norse myths it is Loki and the Romans knew Mercury, the bearer of news. This deity is responsible for the communicative side. Our need for belonging is vital because we would not survive alone. Another example is Thor, Mars or, among the Greeks, Ares, who as gods of war represent the sometimes quick-tempered assertive side. Without sufficient care for ourselves, we would soon perish.

In order to be able to live, we have to fulfill different and even contradictory conditions. In deep motivation, we speak of basic needs. We have the choice between these extremes:

• Either we seek belonging in a circle of fellow human beings: We cannot and do not want to live alone.

• or we keep ourselves at a distance so that we are sensed as an individual and find recognition.

• Either we have a secure foothold for our safety: We need to sense danger in time and react.

• or we strive forward in haste, for enforcement: We want to take care of ourselves, go on adventures and develop our skills.

• Either we are cool and curious about rationality: We want to recognize reality.

• or we use empathy to empathize warmly with those closest to us.

For an integrator, belonging is most important. We can outline the inner team like this:

Translated into an easy-to-understand image, we can imagine the most important gods as an inner team and speak of the basic needs that gather there when we are faced with important decisions. Suppose the team were to meet in an old knight’s hall and sit down at a table, they would probably take these positions.

Mercury, also known as Hermes or Loki, is in the chair and represents the basic needs for belonging. Above all, he needs orientation for his integration work. To his right is rationality, which is concerned with ensuring that everything is fair and right. To the left of the chairman is empathy, because as integrators we pay close attention to the feelings we arouse in ourselves and our friends when we talk to them. The opposing poles of safety and enforcement sit opposite each other and watch out for each other so that things move forward on the one hand and nobody gets hurt on the other. The natural opponent of belonging is the need for recognition. It wants us to be sensed as an independent being by our fellow human beings and not get lost in the crowd.

The integrator’s task is to harmonize this inner team and to find a self-image (identity) that integrates all ‘gods’.

It is in the sense of all basic needs if they support each other and contribute to the common work. Each of these parts brings different experiences and skills that can benefit everyone.

• Belonging (yellow) ensures commonality through coordination. It takes care of communication.

• Rationality (black) analyzes situations and ongoing change processes. It wants sensible solutions.

• Empathy (white) wants to empathize with the target scenario and help shape it. It wants to act responsibly.

• Enforcement (red) fights to achieve the goal. It has visions and becomes spontaneously active if we can win something.

• Safety (green) is an attentive observer. It recognizes risks and ensures order and reliability.

• Recognition (blue) strives for the best, compares and evaluates alternatives. She makes suggestions for action.

A common orientation is sought with which all six opposing basic needs are satisfied.   …