The Mentor

Every personality sets its own priorities, usually from birth. In our dreams and mental images, we can sensing these opposing forces as persons or personality traits. C.G. Jung described them as archetypes, which have been sensed in this way by people across cultures at all times. For example, the type responsible for communication in Greek mythology is Hermes, the messenger of the gods, in Norse myths it is Loki and the Romans knew Mercury, the bearer of news. This deity is responsible for the communicative side. Our need for belonging is vital because we would not survive alone. Another example is Thor, Mars or, among the Greeks, Ares, who as gods of war represent the sometimes quick-tempered assertive side. Without sufficient care for ourselves, we would soon perish.

Translated into an easy-to-understand scenario, we can imagine the most important gods as an inner team and talk about the basic needs that come together there when we need to make important decisions. In order to be able to live, we have to fulfill different and even contradictory conditions. In deep motivation, we speak of the basic needs.

We have the choice between these extremes:

• Either we have a secure footing for our safety: We need to sense and react to danger in time.

• or we strive forward in haste, for enforcement: We want to take care of ourselves, go on adventures and develop our skills.

• Either we seek belonging in a circle of fellow human beings: We cannot and do not want to live alone.

• or we keep our distance so that we are sensed as an individual and find recognition.

• Either we are cool and curious about rationality: We want to recognize reality.

• or we use empathy to empathize warmly with those closest to us.

For a mentor, recognition and empathy have the highest priority. We can outline the inner team like this:

Suppose the team were to meet in an old knight’s hall and sit down at a round table, they would probably take these positions. The representatives of the basic needs of recognition and empathy sit at the head. These two are in the chair. Next to recognition sits safety, because we want to ensure that we are appreciated by those around us and by ourselves. Next to empathy sits enforcement. Mentors know that if we want to empathize, we need to be able to take care of ourselves. The opposing poles of safety and force sit opposite each other and watch out for each other in order to avoid possible damage to safety - or, from the perspective of enforcement, unnecessary blockages. The opposite poles of the two team leaders, cognition and belonging sit diametrically on the other side.

The mentor’s task is to lead this inner team and moderate it if necessary.

This only works if there is a common goal that is supported by everyone involved, because that is where everyone comes into their own. If he succeeds in convincing all personality traits of his plans, there is a peaceful atmosphere in the inner team and all forces can unfold. It is in the sense of all basic needs if they are integrated and contribute to the common work. This could happen like this:

• Empathy (white) wants to empathize with the target scenario and help shape it. It uses intuition and imagination to do so.

• Recognition (blue) seeks the best and evaluates alternatives. It is looking for the best choice.

• Safety (green) is an attentive observer. It recognizes risks and ensures order and reliability.

• Enforcement (red) fights to achieve goals. It has visions and takes spontaneous action when we can win something.

• Rationality (black) analyzes situations and ongoing change processes and researches alternative solutions.

• Belonging (yellow) ensures common ground through coordination. It takes care of communication.

The inner team demands order and a holistic concept.

A future scenario is sought with which all six opposing basic needs are satisfied and which fits the mentor’s personality. The better we succeed in incorporating all emotional aspects, i.e. all opposing basic needs, into the plans, the more we feel the energy for a task that really satisfies us. …